


Prostitution sounds neat

by sweetlikesugar



Series: Dream Pack Adam AU [7]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Alcohol, Basically, Dialogue Heavy, Dream Pack Adam AU, Drug Use, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Not Beta Read, Polyamory, Prostitution, jiang is ace, skov is a slut, swan is tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 16:29:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12039795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetlikesugar/pseuds/sweetlikesugar
Summary: “What are you arguing about?”, Adam yawns, face half melted into the table top.“Skov sucks so much dick, he might as well start charging for it. Swan says it's illegal”, Jiang summarizes, eyes a little bit clearer than before.“I say, do what makes you happy”, Adam gives Skov a lazy thumbs up.





	Prostitution sounds neat

**Author's Note:**

> self indulgent skov being a slut and feeling good about it fic, i haven't written this au for a long long time so here you go, more skov centric than adam centric but oh well, hmu at mindlesslittlefreak.tumblr.com if u wanna talk

It starts like it always does: Skov was being stupid.

 

 

“All I'm saying”, Skov is trying to presuade a very sleepy Jiang and even more skeptical Swan, “is that it makes sense”.

 

“Sure it does”, Jiang admits, too out of it to question Skov's logic. Not that he does it much anyway.

 

“It's called prostitution”, Swan sighs, “and it's illegal”.

 

“Prostitution sounds lit”, Skov huffs, defensive.

 

“What are you arguing about?”, Adam yawns, face half melted into the table top.

 

“Skov sucks so much dick, he might as well start charging for it. Swan says it's illegal”, Jiang summarizes, eyes a little bit clearer than before.

 

“I say, do what makes you happy”, Adam gives Skov a lazy thumbs up.

 

“See? That is support”, Skov whines.

 

“Are we finally agreeing to pimp Skov out, like I wanted to do eight months ago?”, Prokopenko walks into the kitchen, stretching.

 

“Yes”, says Skov, at the same time when Swan says “No”.

 

“You always shit on everything I love, man”, Skov groans.

 

“Let him suck dick”, Proko shrugs, “it's all he's good at anyway”.

 

“I'd be offended if it wasn't true”, Skov shrugs and steals Jiang's mug.

 

“We're not pimping Skov out”, K interrupts, “it's unethical”.

 

“Oooh, big words”, Jiang scoffs, “and since when you have any kind of ethical reflexes?”.

 

“Since that one time with the bottle of gin”, K says solemnly and they all wince at the memory.

 

“Okay, how about that”, Skov grins, eyes gleaming, “I give you forty percent of what I earn”.

 

“How much you charge anyway?”, Proko shuffles around looking for coffee.

 

“We are not doing this, end of story”, Swan glares around the table.

 

“Fine, but next time we run out of bail money, you'll look back and think “man, if we really did pimp Skov out, we would have money to bail them out” and I will emerge victorious”, Skov sniffs.

 

“Not if you get arrested for promiscuity”, Swan points out and it ends the discussion altogether.

 

 

 

Except it doesn't.

 

 

 

 

“I can't believe she'd pay you for this”, Jiang snorts, spraying his drink everywhere.

 

“She wanted you too”, Skov says idly, counting bills, “but I told her you don't do this”.

 

“I mean if I had noise cancelling head phones and games on my phone I could get through it”, Jiang says, but his face is scrunched up in disgust.

 

“It's cool”, Skov says, “you'd be the best phone sex operator though”.

 

Jiang laughs and gags and the same time.

 

“You people and your fucking sex drives”, he scoffs, “what the hell”.

 

“Never fucking change man”, Skov snorts.

 

 

 

 

“Is that sex money?”, Proko asks incredulous.

 

“Yeah”, Jiang dissmisses, eyes glued to the tv screen, “Skov is popular”.

 

“Holy shit”, Proko breathes, “how much is there?”.

 

“Thirty grand last time I counted”, Jiang looks up at him, finally.

 

“Swan is going to lose his shit”, Proko laughs, “holy shit he's going to kill him”.

 

“Yeah”, Jiang chuckles and then it evolves into hysterical laughing fit, “Jesus Christ, Skov is a legit fucking prostitute”.

 

Proko doubles over in laughter, “holy shit. Oh my god”.

 

 

Swan is not fucking stupid. He knows Skov too well.

 

 

 

 

Adam really did not want to see that. He really did not. But what the fuck. When he walks in on Skov and some girl he slams the door closed right away. He goes a little bit green and then he turns gray. And he opens the door again.

 

“I need my history texbook”, he drones.

 

The girl shrieks and hurriedly wraps a sheet around herself. Adam doesn't fucking care.

 

“If you're whoring around, the least you can do is rent a hotel room, what the fuck”, Adam rants as he walks around the room, looking through his bookshelves.

 

“I thought you'll be out till late”, Skov shrugs, not affected by the situation at all.

 

“You thought wrong, K and Proko wanted to fuck so I left them to it”, he frowns at the shelf, “did you see my textbook?”.

 

“Didn't Swan borrow it?”, Skov frowns as well.

 

“Ah, yeah”, Adam shrugs and picks another textbook instead, “I'll leave you to it then”.

 

When he walks out he hears the girl screeching in outrage and snorts.

 

 

 

 

 

In the end, it's Swan who emerges victorious when Skov is, in fact, arrested for promiscuity.

K and Jiang go with him, laughing in the backseat the entire time. K is hiccupping and Jiang doesn't even try to wipe his tears anymore.

 

“I warned you”, Swan sighs when Skov slips into the passenger seat, arms crossed on his chest and a pout firmly in place. K hiccupps in the middle of a burp and Jiang lurches forward, his laughter quiet and hysterical at this point.

 

“You did”, Skov admits reluctantly.

 

“But did you listen?”, Swan glances in the rearview mirror to check on K, who has trouble breathing by now.

 

“No”.

 

“Do you ever listen?”.

 

“No”.

 

“Are you even listening right now?”.

 

“No”, Skov grins proudly. Jiang picks this moment to greedily suck a lung full of air with a sick wheeze, which triggers K into another fit of breathless hysterics, face smushed into Jiang's chest, drooling on his shirt.

By the time they arrive back home, Kavinsky and Jiang are turning lightly purple and they spill out of the car unsteadily.

 

“What did you get arrested for?”, Adam asks, letting K slump against him, exhausted from his fit.

 

“Sucking dick in public”, Skov shrugs.

 

K giggles handful of times, still coming down and wipes his eyes and mouth. He breathes deeply trying to loosen his cramped stomach, but he catches Jiang's eyes acroos the room and violently bites down on his lip, trying to tame his grin.

 

Adam lets him hide his face in his shirt, grinning silently into K's hair.

“I really fucking need a drink”, Skov murmurs and gets up to dig through the freezer.

 

 

Rest of the night flies by, Skov and Proko bickering about the technical aspects of Skov's sex business, Swan trying to drink himself to death, Jiang and Adam sharing a blunt and K fighting a losing battle against sleep.

 

“You can go to sleep, you know”, Jiang slurs, lightly jostling K leaning on his shoulder.

 

“Mhmm”, K humms, eyelids dropping shut.

 

“What a fucking tool”, Jiang snickers fondly.

 

“What were you so hysterical about?” Adam asks curiosuly.

 

“I don't fucking remember”, Jiang grins, “but it was hilarious”.

 

 

Their heads snap up, towards the sound of Skov drunkenly arguing with Proko.

 

“I'll have you know”, he belts out, “that it's a fucking brilliant idea”.

 

Proko squints at him, just as drunk, “seventy bucks say it won't work”.

 

Adam groans, seeing Skov getting worked up and Jiang huffs a quiet “god fucking damnit”.

 

“Fuck you”, Skov hisses out, “I can do it”.

 

 

Yeah, it's going to go fucking great, Adam could already see it.

 


End file.
